Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone and now we move in a hurried pace toward Christmas. For lots of people, the majority it seems, the Friday after Thanksgiving means rising from bed to the sound of an overly annoying alarm in the wee hours of the morning to stand in line at the local big box store in hopes of saving a few bucks on a movie screened sized television. As for our family? The day after giving thanks means decorating for Christmas.
Our decorating tradition has proliferated over the years to the point that I'd rather take an icy swim in the pond over the hill. I have coined the term 'White Friday' due to the abundance of tiny white lights around our home. However, 'Brown Friday' would certainly be suitable as well, due to the inordinate amount of lights that simply died over the past year. Apparently, from year to year, while tucked away neatly in the attic, several strings cease to operate. It's a strange phenomenon to be sure.
"Ryan, get up!" I barked at our almost sixteen-year-old son. He's a strange phenomenon not unlike the lights. The only distinguishable difference between he and the lights is that the lights actually worked at some point. Actually, that's not entirely true, but close. Remember, he's a teenager.
I could see the covers on his bed move slightly and then stop moving all together. "Get up, we're going to decorate for Christmas!" I bellowed once more.
The lump beneath the covers moved slightly and the top of his head appeared. "Ugh! Do we have to? Christmas is almost a month away!" the pitiful boy exclaimed. I secretly felt his dread, but was careful to put on a bold face as my wife hovered ominously nearby.
"I need you to go up into the attic and hand down all of the bins with the decorations and all. Hustle up, we need your help."
Finally, Ryan appeared in the hallway, half awake and wiping the sleep from his eyes. "Head on up, and hand the bins down to me," I stated, glad that he was now strong enough for the task and I didn't have to lumber around in the dimly lit attic looking for our decorations.
After what seemed like an eternity, we finally finished the arduous task of retrieving the massive amount of garlands, wreaths, lights, ornaments, manger scenes, nut crackers, snowy village scenes, fake lighted trees and window candles.
"Dad, the mall doesn't have this many decorations! Going Griswold are we this year?" Ryan asked.
I didn't answer, but I could certainly see his point. "You know, we need another Christmas tree" Kristi stated with a look that said I would soon be on my way to purchase another Christmas tree.
"What's wrong with the one we have?" I inquired, with a hint of dread.
"Oh that one's fine, I mean a second tree" she answered.
So just like that, there I stood, in line with the other pitiful souls with another tree. Finally, I paid and headed home to commence decorating.
"The lights on the garland worked fine last year, I wonder why they won't light up now?" Kristi asked, while simultaneously pushing the plug into the outlet and back out again several times. "Here, take it to your shop and see if you can fix it." I assumed that I once again would be heading out to purchase more lighted garland when suddenly the little white lights came to life. I guess they are similar to our son. They just needed a little warming up.
Suddenly, and without warning, Sidney appeared. "Dad, I'm trying to decorate my room and my lights won't work or stay where I want them!" I stopped wrapping the garland around the stair rail and followed her to her bedroom. "I'm trying to put colored lights around my clock, but number one, they won't come on, and number two, they keep falling down."
I studied her predicament and surmised that the clock must be removed and taken to my shop for an all out assault on her decorating plan. The clock in question is huge. Huge means approximately four feet in diameter. It doesn't keep time, but it's 'cool'. Finally, after a fuse replacement and a little bit of backyard engineering, the clock was rehung and brilliant display of colorful lights shined brightly from the wall behind her bed.
"Daaaad, this stupid tree won't light fully!" Ryan bellowed from the living room. I sighed and headed toward the boy in crisis. "The top lights, and the bottom are fine, but the middle is a barren unlit wasteland."
I poked and prodded in the middle of the old tree, sure that there must be something unplugged, but there wasn't. The middle strand of lights had gone on to the big tree in the sky. They were dead. "Alright, mom bought a couple extra strands at the store, so lets just string those around and all will be well." So, that's what we did.
"This tree is hideous!" Kristi yodeled from the upstairs window. Ryan and I had moved on to the outside of the house when she had discovered the slightly irregular lighting on our primary tree. I could hear Sidney and her infectious laugh standing behind my wife. "You've got to fix this!"
I was getting tired of fixing things, especially bothersome Christmas lights. "Just rearrange them, they'll be fine" I yelled, while attempting to coax our little lighted exterior trees to come to life.
"Ryan, pull this extension cord under the front door and plug it in. Hopefully, they'll work."
"I don't think the cord is long enough" came the swift reply.
"Sure it's long enough, it's the same one I used last year" I said, shaking my head at such a juvenile comment. I have many years of decorating experience and if I say the cord is long enough, then it's long enough.
"OK, whatever you say."
With that, they boy slid the cord under the door, gave a gentle tug, and in an instant, the garland above the door crashed down on of me and both little trees were torn from their bases and lay pitifully on their sides on the front porch. Laughter ensued. "I told you the cord wasn't long enough!" Ryan said through tears of laughter. There's nothing funny about watching your father get pummeled by a pine cone laden garland as far as I was concerned. We finally retrieved a suitable cord and continued to decorate.
Finally, we finished. As the sun dipped below the mountains to the west, we stood in front of the house and admired our creation. It looked nice. The white window candles, the tree in front of the window, the lighted garland and of course the spotlight topped it off. "Dad, there's one candle not burning" Sidney kindly pointed out. She snickered as she made the observation.
I could feel my wife staring at me. "Take it to your shop and see if you can...
